Day care

I told myself that when he turned one he would start going to day care. I originally called the Methodist Day School, but they had a waiting list and the women I spoke to didn’t tell me that they did half days, she just told me that they had to go all week. And at the time I only wanted him to go a few days out of the week, not all week. BUT I would have settled with a few hours every day if I couldn’t have a few days. So I did not put him on the waiting list, which I regret. I decided a few weeks ago when I was job hunting that he was going to have to be put on a waiting list somewhere and job or not he needed to go. He needs to be able to play with other kids and start adjusting to a day care/school environment. And I need to breathe. I know that might sound awful, but there is no separation between he and I. 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I have had one baby-sitter spend the day with him so I could have a me day a few weeks ago. Up until a few months ago I haven’t known anyone around here that I could leave him with. Every once in a while I leave him with his dad for a few hours. His Nanny isn’t “allowed” to watch him, but she did twice over the summer because she didn’t have her husband to tell her no and she freaked over the thought of him going to a baby-sitter. So other than that the last time I left him with someone was probably a year ago or before that, and that was his Grammy. It isn’t healthy to not have space, even if the space is from your own kids. It leads to resentments and frustrations, short tempers and melt downs. Yes, I made the decision that he would start day care.

Andrew started day care Wednesday, Kidz-a-palooza. He was supposed to start Monday but because of all the snow and ice we had they were closed for two days. Wednesday they opened at 10am because of the school delay from the winter weather. I brought him to his teacher, took his coat off and hung it up. I gave his teacher his bag of diapers, wipes, his blanket for nap time, and his cup. I talked with her for a few minutes, gave him hugs and kisses, and reassured him that I would be back soon. I told him that he was going to play with other kids and have fun. I left. Now, the day care used to be several stores in our downtown area so there are big windows in a few classrooms. One such window would be in Andrew’s classroom. I had parked two blocks away and had walked Andrew to day care that morning, because I was meeting his dad at the hardware store, so I had to walk past his classroom window to go back to the hardwood store. I was doing good until I heard him yell “Mommy”, then I fought tears back until I got to the hardware store. By then I had regained my composure, so I thought. I found Shane down an aisle. As soon as he looked at me I started tearing up and then crying. Two blocks and I missed my baby boy! We left the store and I drove past the day care to see if I could see inside, but the windows are tinted dark so you can’t just see into the building. I met my husband at Tractor Supply, we walked around and goofed off then we went to Wal-Mart. I broke down in there and then again later when I was on the phone with my mom.

When I went to pick Andrew up from the first day I parked in front of his class. He saw me walk past the window and yelled “Mommy” in his super-excited voice! Everyone in the building knew his mommy was there, because he yelled “Mommy, Mommy…get me Mommy” until I went to his classroom.

Day two…day two it was ok to be at school as long as Mommy was sitting on the floor playing, but he didn’t want me to leave. That day when I picked him up, he didn’t see me. He was laying under one of the tables in his class playing a little piano. He was pretty into it too. I called his name, but he didn’t hear me. His teacher got his attention and asked him what he was doing, and then I asked him what he was doing. He jumped up from the floor and ran to me sobbing my name!

Day three… today was awful! I pulled up to the building and turned off the car. Immediately he began crying and saying “no Mommy, no”. I carried him into the building. The last two days he had walked in, but not today. He clung like saran wrap. I didn’t have to hold him, he had his legs and arms wrapped around me I almost couldn’t pry him off. One of the teachers took him from me and turned him so he couldn’t see me leave. I was so shaken by him not wanting me to go that I carried his jacket off with me instead of leaving it in his classroom. All day I fought the urge to go get him. Was I traumatizing my son? Was I doing more harm than good? If I went to get him now then it would be worse the next time. One of the points of going to day care was so that he could get used to going, so that I could get things accomplished and possibly find a part time job during the day. If he doesn’t go now it will be worse later on when I try to leave him. Today when I picked him up I could hear him upset from the hallway. I stuck my head through the door and said “Why are you upset?” He got real quiet for a second so I repeated myself “what are you upset about?” He came running to me sobbing again. His teacher said he saw someone else leave a few minutes before I came up and he got upset because he wanted to go too. (Not with them, just me come get him).

Monday is a holiday so he will get to stay home with me, but Tuesday he goes back to day care. I’m hoping by the end of the week he will have become more adjusted. This day care isn’t the one I want him going to permanently. I still want him to go to the Methodist Day School; it is more of a preschool, then just a day care. So if he doesn’t adjust in a few weeks I won’t be upset about taking him out of there, unless I have found a job, which is going to be paying for day care! But for now I have to fight the urge to go get him. Everyone keeps saying he’ll adjust, it won’t be so hard in a few days, soon he’ll be running off without even saying bye…we’ll see.

Last night one of my dearest friends had a “cookie swap” at her house with some of the ladies from church. We were talking about how traditions don’t get passed down anymore, quilting is going out, sewing or making your own clothes is not as popular anymore, farming and gardening happen less and less, etc. There are several of us younger generations that would love to learn how to make quilts and I do hope that the older ladies at church will teach us…but this blog isn’t about that…

We also discussed how the youth of our church needed to be more involved in the on goings of church and the world around us. The children collect money that is used to make purchases for families in need, but the children do not do any of the shopping, the children do not take the purchases to the families; the adults do it. The children don’t help to feed the hungry or volunteer in soup kitchens, sit with the elderly, or learn to quilt, or garden or farm. Our farm lands are disappearing because our youth aren’t involved with old traditions.

God spoke to our visiting preacher, Paul, this morning. I had carried the conversation from last night over to mine and Shane’s conversation on the way to church this morning, and God heard that conversation and passed it on to Paul. Paul said that we as parents make sure that we get our children ready for the next game, the next practice or the next rodeo. We make sure they have all of the equipment they need to succeed, but how many of us can say that we are making sure that they are ready for their walk with God? How many of us parents are giving our children the right equipment, or are learning the right lessons to make sure they have a real, personal relationship with God?

I have a bunch of great ideas to pass along to our church and the youth groups there. I hope no one feels I’m stepping on any toes and I pray that God’s message can be shared through me to our youth. I pray that even as small of a church that we are that we as parents and role models can give our children the right tools to know God.

Santa Clause

Yes, there is a Santa Clause! I believed in him when I was a little girl, I even thought I saw him once. Then as I grew older I believed he was a created to teach children to believe in something that they could not see something that would teach them good-will to others and to give and not expect to receive. I thought he was a figment of someone’s imagination that had been passed down from one person to the next. It took becoming a mother to realize that indeed Santa Clause does exist.

Mr. and Mrs. Clause. They live not in the North Pole, but in our towns and communities. They walk around among us, work beside us, worship with us. They have hearts bigger then they themselves are. They love like no other and giving gives them more pleasure than anything else. I found a Santa Clause and the kindness that he bestowed upon my family reminded me what Christmas was all about.

I started forgetting my Christmas spirit about five years ago. I decorated the house and the yard, bought my Christmas presents, but the light wasn’t as bright that year. Then as the years have gone on the light in me slowly fizzled. I stopped decorating for Christmas all together. The first time we were living in Alabama and my Christmas stuff was all packed up, the next year I used the same excuse. But, that was Andrew’s first Christmas and I was upset because he wasn’t spending his first Christmas with my family. Shane’s parents can mess up the Holidays because of stupid stuff. It ended up being an ok Christmas, but my spirit wasn’t there. The next Christmas we were able to spend Christmas with my family, but Shane didn’t have a job and we were almost broke. We couldn’t spend the money we wanted to on Christmas, but with the help of my mom Santa still came. The light in Andrew’s face Christmas morning was priceless. I can still see the shock and smile on his face when he saw his Fire truck sitting in the living room. He didn’t even want to open the other presents, he just wanted to play in his truck. Every now and then he would get out seeing what I was unwrapping for him and then jump right back in the truck.

After I met Santa Clause last weekend, I forced myself to get into the Christmas spirit. It isn’t about me, it’s about the kids. It’s about wanting Andrew and Clay to grow up and remember how wonderful the holiday season is. The Christmas lights on houses, cookies, hot chocolate, picking out the perfect tree, and the smell of a fresh Christmas tree in the house. The light on their faces when they open their Christmas presents. For them I can find the Christmas spirit. I’ve decorated the inside of the house. Now we have to get a tree so that we can decorate it! We are spending Christmas in Texas this year, with Shane’s parents. So far they are in the Christmas spirit themselves; I can only pray it stays that way. I’m missing my family but I hope to see them soon.

If the Christmas spirit is fading in your life, remember it isn’t about you, it’s about those you love and who love you. If you give them the gift of the Christmas spirit it is sure to find its way back into your life.

How smart is that!

I'm amazed constantly at how smart children are! How they pick up on the smallest things. Andrew is very perceptive, he watches and learns, he copies and at times he even comes up with things on his own. Just a little while ago he was playing with his Little People Farm. While he was "feeding" a basket of eggs to some of the animals I hear "broke it". I asked what he broke and he showed me the eggs. So I laughed and said that he needed to cook them now. He jumped up from his place on the floor and ran to the kitchen. I followed him, he was digging in one of the kitchen drawers for things to "cook" with. So I handed him a small frying pan and a spatula and went back to what I was doing. After a few minutes I heard the oven door open and close, and then it slammed a second time. He came running back to the living room with his frying pan. What was he up to. Andrew picked up the eggs and pretended to put them in the pan again and then ran back to the kitchen. This time I followed him. He took the frying pan and put it into the oven, "get back" he told me. I always tell him to stay back when I am opening the oven door so he won't get burned. Then he started digging in my towel drawer, "Now what are you looking for?" "Hot, burn" he tells me and he pulls out an oven mitt from the drawer. He opens the oven door and using the mitt pulls the frying pan out of the oven. He is cooking and he is happy! Such an active imagination!
A few weeks ago I had our big shop vacuum in the living room, I had been cleaning the ceiling fan and the ceiling earlier in the day. Shane and I watched him trying to stack pieces of vacuum hose on top of each other. He couldn't reach the very top of what he was stacking so he drug the vacuum over to the couch, he then climbed up on the couch and placed the last piece that he couldn't reach from the floor.
We took the kids to Crater of Diamonds in Arkansas early this summer. At the end of the day we took our findings to an area that has a lot of diamond facts and exhibits, this is also where they tell you what you have found. In this area they have a wheel with a diamond edge cutting through a piece of granite in cased in a plexi-glass box. The wheel turns by someone turning a crank. Andrew watched Clay play with the wheel and crank for a little while. When Clay got bored and moved on Andrew tried to turn the crank, but he couldn't reach. The two employees for that area watched my son push his toy truck out of the way, drag a near-by chair over to the exhibit, climb on the chair and turn the crank. They were just as surprised as we were that he would think to do something like that.
It just goes to show how smart children are when given the chance to express themselves, no matter the age. It also shows that they are paying attention and absorbing everything that goes on around them.

Diets

Why does it seem like you don't crave something until you start dieting, then that one thing is all you can think about? Good grief! Started yesterday, and other than trying to chew on myself to keep from eating everything I could find I think I did pretty good. Today seemed worse then yesterday! I felt like I was about to starve to death! And yes I fussed at the one person that I let talk me into this diet, because she is my diet buddy...the person who is supporting me as I am her...boy I hope her ears were ringing, lol. I was doing good...until... I went to my mother-in-law's house, hadn't eaten in awhile, had to go to the doctor with Shane and then to Sam's and didn't know when I was going to get to eat...And since her husband is out of town and has been out of town she seems to have very little food in her house...I ate the only thing that was there. Stuffed crust peperoni and mushroom pizza. I didn't eat the stuff crust part because I never do, I don't like that part, but I ate TWO slices...I had lost one pound, yes only one, between yesterday and this morning...well I'm sure when I get up it will be back. UGGG! 55 pounds to go, my birthday is the goal! I can do this! We can do this! Diets suck!

An amazing God

Shane was fired from work a few weeks ago. He has been working night shift, seven days a week and he was exhausted. After lunch they weren’t’ busy and he found a quiet place to take a nap. The wrong person found him and they fired him as an example to the others. Shane and I decided that we wanted to buy a feed store that has recently come up for sale. I spent a day there visiting with the owners and getting an understanding of how the store was run. Then Shane and I had a lengthy discussion on the reasons that we wanted to buy the store and that he should talk to his dad about helping us get it. Something told me to push the issue, so I did. She went to his dad, but Sonny turned us down. Later he told Shane’s mom that if we found land that we wanted he would help us buy that instead. Sonny left for New York on Wednesday. Shane and I found a place that we really liked and went to see it Friday morning. Sonny wanted to fly back on Friday, but was unable to move his flight up so Shane’s mom went with us to see the place we found. Afterwards we parted ways, she went to Wal-mart and we went to get something to eat. Shane got a phone call when we were leaving the restaurant, his mom’s blood pressure had spiked really bad while she was in the store and she had indigestion that she couldn’t get rid of. She wanted to let us know that she didn’t feel well and that she was going home to take some meds and lay down. I had a friend a few years ago that had a heart attack. She told me then that she had persistent indigestion before the attack. When I heard the conversation they were having I called my mom, who is a nurse, and told her what was going on. She said that Shane’s mom needed to go to the ER immediately. She did go after much persuasion, and it turned out she was having a heart attack. After all the tests were done, she had three blockages, two 30% and a 70% blockage. They put stints in.

We realized that the events that led to Friday were created by God for a reason. Had Sonny not left for New York they would have passed off the indigestion and the rise of blood pressure, she would have taken her meds and laid down. Or, if Sonny had been able to come home early she would not have left the house that morning and the same path would have been taken. If Shane had not been fired he would have been sleeping and we would not have gone out to see the property and asked her to go with us. It basically comes down to God has a path for all of us and though we may not know what those paths are or why we are taking them, they are there for a reason. We have to be patient and remember that God will reveal himself in due time. Everything happens for a reason! GOD is amazing!

Where does the trash go?

I noticed that we were taking the trash out a lot, almost every day. So I decided that our house hold was going to help out the environmnet a little. I started seperating our trash cardboard, plastic bottles and newspaper. I started looking for a place to take our recyclables. Can you believe I can't find one? Maybe I'm not asking the right person, maybe I'm not looking in the right places? But I can not find a dump station or a place where you can take your trash, much less the stuff you recycle. Even Moncks Corner has these kinds of things. Is Texas that behind in times? They are so proud of everything else around here you would think they would be on the upswing of things. How can there be no recycle stations around here? Is it all of Texas or just in the area I'm in? So in the meantime I have carboard piling up on top of my freezer and bags of plastic bottles hanging from my cabinets. What the heck do I do with this stuff?