Away from home

Yesterday and today are the first times that I have absolutely hated being so far from home. Now I see why one of my friends refuses to ever leave Moncks Corner. It's hard to be so far away when something bad happens. I feel helpless at the moment. Anxiously waiting for my cell phone to get turned back on, so that I can make a phone call that is worrying me to death. Can't wait till Tuesday morning gets here so that we can get on the road to get back to South Carolina. I am really missing my GTO at the moment. I would be able to shave some time off of our trip.

Tales from the RV Park

My mom was nice enough to let us borrow her camper to come to Florida. But it’s a lot more like camping then I really want. The propane connections don’t work so we don’t have any hot water and I can’t cook inside. So we have cold water only, I have to use the coffee pot and the microwave to heat water for Andrew’s baths and wash dishes. We have a grill that I use to cook on. And I have a griddle that I make breakfast food on. The grill is great, but it doesn’t light when you ignite it, you have to use a lighter. The wind was blowing the other day and I couldn’t keep the fire burning, so Shane had to make a shelter to keep the wind off of the grill. So instead of camping in a canvas tent, we are camping in a really big box, with lights, electricity, air conditioning, and cold water.

The RV Park is made up of elderly people mostly. Everyone is friendly and even though they don’t know mine or Shane’s names, they know who Andrew and Jake, the dog are. They say hello to them as we walk around the park. One lady even saved the little story book that came in her Cheerio’s box for Andrew. And another lady gives Jake treats when we pass by her camper. And one other lady brought us a “Charlie Brown tree” that was given to her. They have golf carts, bikes and electric scooters that they scurry around the park on, and Andrew points them out every time one goes by. He loves anything that moves.

Our other neighbors are squirrels, literally squirrels. They are everywhere here. The park is made up of Spanish moss covered oak trees and palm trees. Yes, that is Spanish moss covered palm trees also. Some of the residents feed them so they aren’t afraid of anything, or anyone. You can walk about a two feet from one before it decides to run away from you. Before we left South Carolina Shane collected a bunch of acorns for me to use as decorations at our wedding reception next fall. It rained the day before we collected them, I know I’m crazy but I can’t see paying for something I can get for free and I don’t know when will be the next chance I get to collect them, so I needed to dry them out. I dried some of them in mom’s oven, but there are a lot that I couldn’t do that to. So I thought I could lay them out here and let them dry. Well Andrew likes to pick them up and throw them, little balls. So I decided since he woke up from his nap early that I would box them back up. It is very hard to box up acorns with a 1 year old helping. He kept running off or loading his dump truck with them and pushing it off and I would have to go fetch him. Then I was talking to the neighbors and the pesky squirrels were in my acorns. Do they get scared when I shoo them away? No, they load up first and then haul fluffy tail! And, we have a hawk that lives in the park and he isn’t afraid of people either. I walked up on him today and was about 5 feet from it before he decided to fly off!

Thanksgiving

We spent Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania this year. It was a long ride up, but I enjoyed it. I was happy that Shane finally got to see another little piece of my life. Mom played tour guide, I think she enjoyed it. We went to the Amish market, everyone one needs one of these! There was so much food and produce for sale. I saw Brussels sprouts; they actually sprout of the side of a stalk. And we found this different kind of cauliflower, it’s totally green, but it tastes just like cauliflower. And we crusied through the Sweet Lights at Hershey. Andrew enjoyed that. It’s a light show that you drive through. He sat in his Daddy’s lap and pointed and oooo’ed at the pretty lights. We took Shane to Chocolate World; he can’t wait to take Clay up there. There is a tour ride that shows you how they make the chocolate; he and Andrew liked that.

Gram took Shane and me to the horse races/Casino at Penn National. That was Shane’s first time at a race track. We went outside to watch the horses get saddled up and then we would come inside and watch the race. Its funny how into the races people can get. There was a table of old men, bent over race books with magnifying glasses and pens and highlighters, taking notes and comparing horses. I don't think they even watched the race, just discussed their books and the information in them. I told my mom that the Casino is the perfect old people daycare. You drop them off in the morning with a bucket full of pennies and then you pick them up that evening or the next one; it depends. You make sure that you tell someone to check on them every now and then and make sure they eat. PERFECT! Anyway, I did bet on some of the horses. I didn’t do well the first race and the second race I didn’t bet. But, the horses I would have picked didn’t do very well. So the third race Shane decided it was bad luck to look at the horses and we would try a different technique. So that race I bet $15 and won it back, using our new strategy. The last race I tried the same strategy and placed my bet. We watched them bring the horses out onto the race track, and I told Shane, there was a beautiful grey horse, I said “you see that horse? There is something about that horse” Shane said, “you can’t bet on a horse just because you like the way it looks.” I didn’t bet on that horse, and he came in second! Rrrrr…
We spent Thanksgiving at my Uncle and Aunt’s house with their kids, there are four of them. We drove up Wednesday, Mom and Gram drove up in one car and we drove up in another. Good thing, because Mom drove my grandmother's Cadillac and I thought Shane was going to run her over, haha! We stayed at a hotel that night and my cousins, who are all younger than me, came over the next morning after breakfast and we went swimming. I bought Andrew a bathing suite that has the little floatation stuff built into the top of it, for $5 at Wal-mart at the end of the summer season. He thought it was great. He is big enough to climb out of the pool and try to climb back down the stairs to get into the pool. He had so much fun watching the girls splashing and swimming and playing with him. He would get out of the pool and walk around and point at things and then climb back in. Afterwards he took a two hour nap and I had to wake him up from it, because he was so worn out! Matthew, my oldest of the four cousins, had a train set when he was little and the kids dug it out and set it up for Andrew to play with. He thought it was great, he played and then destroyed. He loves to pull everything apart or knock stuff down! You build it he will knock it over. The kids were great with him. They loved playing with him and he was captivated by them. The girls are learning to cook, so they helped prepare dinner and deserts. Everything was so good. Elena, the second oldest cousin and my God-daughter, loves cooking. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t turn into a chef or open a restaurant or bakery.
Shane met my other Grandmother, Mam; and my father, Paul, and his wife, Dawn; and Aunt Lynn and her husband Dale. Mam is famous for her pumpkin pies, so we helped her finish off the one she had left in the fridge. I tried my first home-made pumpkin pie this year. They didn’t taste exactly like hers, mine needed more spices, but they were pretty good for my firsts! Paul bought Andrew a Hess car, it has two race cars, one inside the other. Andrew loves it. I’ve been trying to teach him how to pull the little car back to make it go forward. He loves cars, trucks, tractors and balls. Anything that moves. And he has a pretty good arm on him for a one year old.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for my friends and family. Especially my mom, she has been great these last few weeks, very supportive to both Shane and me. Andrew has loved spending time with her. And I know she enjoyed bath time as much as Andrew did. I’m also thankful for Shane and Andrew. Andrew has been a blessing and he amazes me each and everyday. He is so smart, I love watching him grow, but I wish I could keep him a baby all the same. Shane seems to be my strength. I’m not sure how I can get through something’s without him to lean on. He might not realize it but he is my rock. I truly love him. My friends, thank you for your ears. I have been very out of it lately and have needed the support you have given me. And thank you Lord, you are there to carry me when I don’t think I can go any further. You have taught me to be humble, patient, caring and nurturing. I don’t know what I would do with out You in my life. You are an amazing God. I don’t always understand why things happen, but everything happens for a reason. It is up to me to learn from this and apply it to my life.

Too smart...

Andrew is right over 14 months now and getting smarter by the day. When he sees the dogs or when they bark he says dog, or "daoo. All the horses are "Bo". The cats are "dut" I guess he thinks they are all named Duchess. Our dog Jake is "O Jake Jake". The other morning Shane told him to go find his shoes so they could go feed the horses, when Shane found him he was trying to put his shoe on. Later that day Grammy told him to hand her his socks so she could put them on him. He started to hand them to her than sat down and laid it on his foot. He knows that when something is hot you blow on it. We went to a friends house and they had a burn barrell, from where he was standing about 4 feet back he started blowing at it. He blows on food, candles, dirt. I taught him how to blow his nose, he has a runny nose from his sinuses. So now he scruntches up his nose and blows out the boogies so Mommy can wipe them. This has taught him how to get it all out, with our without the tissue. But, you have to specify, if you want him to blow his nose you have to say "blow your nose" or "blow on it" if it's hot. So we don't get boogies in the food and nothing in the tissue. This morning he was walking around with a tissue and trying to blow into it. His big high-chair is at home so we brought a little one that you sit in another chair, we usually use it for resturants or friends houses, but it sits on the floor in Mom's living room. When he is ready to eat he will go get in it and pull the tray onto his lap, or you can say "do you want to eat? Go get in your chair." And he will go get into it. He found a worm in the house and brought it to his daddy, yuck!

Dieting

I am hoping that if I blog about my dieting that it will actually help me out some. We shall see. I did really good after I had my son, within months I lost all of the weight I had gained during my pregnancy and then some. I was too happy! Some how in between February and March I started putting a few pounds back on. The next thing I know I have gained 16 pounds! 16 pounds!! It's not that I can't believe it, because my jeans are tell tail. So, tomorrow officially starts my first day of the South Beach Diet. After some persuasion from a couple of friends I decided on that one. I will weigh in the morning and keep track of the things I eat. Wish me luck! I am looking forward to getting rid of those 16 nasty pounds, but I will take anything that wants to come off.

Sympathy

Friend or some one I have just met, most people like to tell me their problems. More than once I have thought about a career in Psychology. Why not get paid to listen to other people problems right? I do try to be a good listener and nonobjective. But sometimes it's hard to have sympathy for them. Their problems could be a lot worse. Most days I love my life, but lately it's been stressful. My boyfriend's job involves traveling a lot. We have been lucky in the past. I was able to go to both Alabama and Kansas with him while he worked. You are away form home so much that you make friends and family while you are on the road. While in Kansas we had our son. We came home from Kansas in May. Shane's family is here, his son and his mom and step-dad are with-in 20 minutes and his sister is an hour and a half. The only real reason we call this home is because his son is here. In July Shane took a job in Mississippi. Andrew and I couldn't go with him this time. The job doesn't pay enough for us to get a place and stay with him. So he is lucky enough to be staying with his ex-brother-in-law, his girlfriend and her daughter. There isn't enough room for all of us. We have gone to visit and it's crowded. Well I am here in Texas with our now one year old. Shane's mom isn't allowed to babysit, or just come over to come over. You have to make an appointment to go over there. So I am basically alone here. I stay home pretty much everyday, because if I go out I'm afraid I will spend money that I don't have. And because I don't' know any body to do anything with. If I do need to go some where I have to take Andrew with me, because I don't know anyone that can watch him. Since May I have been away from my son once. I have gotten so depressed lately that I cry at commercials and the news. I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, and can't wait to put him down for naps so I can go back to sleep. We adopted a puppy a month ago, and between him and Andrew they are the only reasons I get up in the morning. Because I know I have to take care of them. The weather turned cooler and we have been going outside when it isn't wet or rainy. And, we have started going to the library and the park so that I can get out of the house. I guess it's cabin fever. Not really sure. Can you say that you need space from a one year old? I really need to just be alone for a few minutes other than after he has gone to bed. Shane comes home once or twice a month, but I try to let him rest and take care of him. I guess that's what Mommy's and "wives" are for. To take care of people. I feel like screaming some days. So yes, I understand when my friends call me up stressed out because they haven't had a moments piece, or their husbands aren't as help full as they wish they could be. I try to tell them they should be thankful they have a husband around to help out even a little bit. I read an article not to long ago and it made me appreciate when Shane is home. It was a poor women who didn't have a man in her life to help her out, ever. She was a single mom. And I have to say that single parents are amazing people. To juggle a job, school, kids and whatever else, you go single parent. Be appreciative to what you have, cause you could have a lot less. And before you spout off think about what you are going to say and who you are saying it to. Always try to take in the other persons accounts before you speak. And you might realize that you have it better than you think you do. It's not that you can't talk to that person about your problems, but think about it!

It's amazing how reality can slap you in the face. The funny thing was I knew it was happening, I understood...but one moment in my life dominoed into so many things. I was on my way to Alabama, I had just visited friends and family for my son's first birthday, I was about 70 miles from my destination and I hit something lying in the road. Now most cars would have been able to drive right over this object, but my GTO is lower than most normal cars. Whatever this object was, it was hard, metal, and my car did not go over it willingly. I hit it so hard I knocked six Cd's of track in my CD player, my car actually lifted off of the ground. It ended up causing about $9500 worth of damage to my car. The insurance company totaled my car. The damages were 70% of the vehicles total worth. Can you believe that? I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that they wouldn't fix my car or that my car is that upside down. I still owe $26000 on my loan! Anyway, I had prepared myself for this. I looked at all the angles I told myself that right now with the way our finances are it was for the better. I had talked myself into it, I went to the mechanics shop and got all my stuff out. When my insurance agency called I had to tell them that it was ok for the car to be picked up. The mechanic's wife called me, she said that I had forgotten some Cd's in the car. So I went to pick them up, and my car wasn't there. And for some reason with that one bit of knowledge that my car was gone, I broke down. Yes, I loved my car; who wouldn't a 2005 GTO 6.0, six speed, 400 hp? But it wasn't the materialistic thoughts that were running threw my head. It was the thought that "it's all gone". Have you ever had that thought? I got divorced, my husband kept the house. Then he sold it. He took my dogs to the pound, the ones I left with him. My two dogs that I kept passed away, Daisy, the white German Sheppard we picked up together. My chocolate lab, Bo, that he picked out for me; who was my friend and constant companion. My cat, Goliath passed away also, the cat he picked out for us. Then I lost my car, a car he bought for me one of his last grand gestures of how much he loved me. And all I could think was that if I walked away from my new life I would have nothing but myself. It was a strange finalization on my life as I had known it, A closed chapter.I cried for the knowledge that no matter what you can't go back. Things are materialistic and you can't take it with you. The most precious things is the love we give, and the friendships we provide. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle right? He has given me a new chapter in my life, a new family and today a new dog.