The littlest potty

We decided to get Andrew a potty chair. He is showing some of the "tail-tell signs" of potty training, so we thought we would introduce him to it and see how things went. It is a really cute potty, blue and green with frogs and turtles on it. The first day we brought it home he played with it, sat on it and carried it around. The only time I get him to sit on it is at bath time, it is the only time I am absolutely sure that he is going to pee. He sits, and sits and nothing happens but him playing. As soon as I put him in the tub he pees. I grab him up and put him on the potty and tell him "we tee tee in the potty not the tub", but he does not pee. So I put him back in the tub and he pees again! Two nights in a row this is how it goes. So tonight after fighting the tub battle I decided that maybe we should put potty and all in the tub. It worked! I sat Andrew and his potty in the tub, when his feet hit the warm water he peed! I was so excited, I kept telling him he was a good boy and making a fuss over him, Shane came in the bathroom and made a fuss. Andrew just looked at us like we were nuts and went back to playing. Oh well...

All by myself

So yesterday was the first time since January 24th, yes I know the last date, that I have been by myself for any length of time. And when I say length of time I don't mean quite time will Andrew has gone to bed or down for nap. I mean by myself, no screaming toddler in the back seat, no body in the opposite seat annoying me. I went to pick up Jake from the groomers and drop him off at the house, I left Shane and Andrew at Shane's Mom's house. Half way back to from dropping the dog off and picking some things up for Shane did I realized that I was by myself, I had so much on my mind that it didn't even feel like I was alone. Two hours and I didn't even get to enjoy it. I turned off the main highway and onto a back road and took my foot of the gas. I was going to enjoy a few minutes of quietness. Was this what life had turned into? Being so busy that I don't even know I am by myself? Is there so much on my mind, with the rushing around trying to get things done...Once I finished these little thoughts I sped back up, I didn't want to over step my bounds of leaving Andrew at his Nanny's even though Shane was there and it was getting late. Shane needed the stuff I had picked up at the house... so off I went again...

Facing Fears

We are all afraid of something. Me, I'm afraid of the dark, yes at 30 years old I am still afraid of the dark. I can not go into a dark room or house. I turn lights on as I go from room to room and then turn them off as I make my way back. I'm not afraid of being outside in the dark, just inside. I am afraid of snakes, can't even get close in the pet shop. I see them before anyone else does when we are outside. And, I am afraid of heights. I know that it is all in your head, but sometimes the voices in my head win; mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter...well I mind. Shane, who is NOT afraid of heights, loves to rock climb. When I first got pregnant, I didn't know I was pregnant, we went to Horseshoe Cannon, in Arkansas to climb with some friends. No pressure, he said if I didn't want to climb I didn't have to. But, I thought how bad can it be... If you ever want to measure the trust you have in your significant other, put them at the bottom of a rope, while you climb up the side of a rock. Your life is literally in their hands. Now this would not be so bad if one, you aren't afraid of heights and two, you didn't out weigh the other person by 25-30 pounds. I kept imagining falling and passing Shane on the way up as I was going down. I didn't understand the fundamentals of climbing the first go around. As I went up my body began to shake and panic began to set in. So he was going to lower me, I thought someone was going to have to come up and get me. My first climb ended in tears and him hugging me and telling me it was OK. I did one more climb the next day, but he didn't belay me. I belayed a friend and after watching her swinging around on the rope and showing me that even if you fall, you didn't really fall. I had a little more confidence and I was able to climb a new problem and make it higher then the day before. Well that was a little over two years ago. Today we decided to go rock climbing with the kids. Clay climbed first. He did well, he had a few issues, but all in all he made it to the top. Andrew puttered around on the ground while all of this was going on. Once Clay came down, I got ready to start my way up. I know Clay made a comment about falling, but I wasn't listening to him as Shane tied my rope. I could feel the panic creeping into my chest. Shane told me not to listen to Clay, and I said I wasn't because I could feel the panic coming. I did OK for me. Shane talked me through were to put my hands and feet and I tried to listen. Every now and then I would just stop and shake my head no but, I would continue on a few minutes later. When I got to a shelf midway I knew I couldn't go any further. I had nothing to grab onto and not enough strength in my arms to push myself up. My legs were starting to shake and my arms ached. Clay was watching and was sweet enough to tell me he could see my legs shaking. I couldn't take it any more and had to come down... ha ha! Come down! I froze. I know I kept shaking my head no while Shane was telling me what to do. Put your feet straight out in front of you...I had to fight to get my legs to do what I wanted with a death grip on the rope and my legs out front Shane lowered me down. When I was a few feet from the bottom I sat down on a ledge and just stared at him. We both laughed, but we both knew what I was feeling. I will again climb, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. I know the climbing is good for building trust within our relationship and it gives us something to do together. I also know that it is good for me to face my fear of heights; I have to push past what is going on inside my head, which is very hard to do sometimes, but only by doing that will I accomplish anything. I am proud of myself, I didn't cry today...but my arms feel like putty!

Just some random thoughts

I haven't been on here in awhile. I had some random thoughts running through my head. And now that I have sat down to write them down the went out the window... go figure. Oh well, I started two new classes today. For some reason I don't feel equipped or adequate for these. Up to par, maybe is what I'm looking for. Don't feel like I'm giving myself enough time to really concentrate either. But, there is no excuse. None, I have a toddler to chase after and some things to do here and there, but yet I feel like I don't give anything my all anymore...
Started really trying to get back into my photography. I love it and I miss it. Shane and Andrew are my best subjects, besides nature. I always feel myself behind the camera, but then I always judge my work to hard. Would love to put it up somewhere for all to see, good and bad. I'll have to look into starting a website or something maybe.
Thinking about writing a children's book. I have been keeping track of my life experiences and writing them down. I would like to publish them one day too. Erma Bombeck was always a favorite writer of mine, I would like to put some humorous books similar to hers. I guess that's what this blogging is also like...
My little one just turned 18 months Sunday. He is amazing and beautiful. I can't get over how grown he is, how much he is learning. He has a pretty extensive vocabulary now, he can tell you what different animals sound like and he loves to be read to. He loves being outside playing and he mimics what you say and what you do. Especially his daddy. Such a daddy's boy.
Chatted online with an old friend earlier. I miss her and am afraid of her all at the same time. Will have to elaborate on that another time, maybe. I think it's the fact that it stirs up lost memories, ones that for me are easier to put on a shelf than they are for her. Glad to see she is doing well though. She is a beautiful person inside and out.
Ok, so things to work on... waking up and getting things done, lol...making TIME to do things and then doing them!