Last night one of my dearest friends had a “cookie swap” at her house with some of the ladies from church. We were talking about how traditions don’t get passed down anymore, quilting is going out, sewing or making your own clothes is not as popular anymore, farming and gardening happen less and less, etc. There are several of us younger generations that would love to learn how to make quilts and I do hope that the older ladies at church will teach us…but this blog isn’t about that…

We also discussed how the youth of our church needed to be more involved in the on goings of church and the world around us. The children collect money that is used to make purchases for families in need, but the children do not do any of the shopping, the children do not take the purchases to the families; the adults do it. The children don’t help to feed the hungry or volunteer in soup kitchens, sit with the elderly, or learn to quilt, or garden or farm. Our farm lands are disappearing because our youth aren’t involved with old traditions.

God spoke to our visiting preacher, Paul, this morning. I had carried the conversation from last night over to mine and Shane’s conversation on the way to church this morning, and God heard that conversation and passed it on to Paul. Paul said that we as parents make sure that we get our children ready for the next game, the next practice or the next rodeo. We make sure they have all of the equipment they need to succeed, but how many of us can say that we are making sure that they are ready for their walk with God? How many of us parents are giving our children the right equipment, or are learning the right lessons to make sure they have a real, personal relationship with God?

I have a bunch of great ideas to pass along to our church and the youth groups there. I hope no one feels I’m stepping on any toes and I pray that God’s message can be shared through me to our youth. I pray that even as small of a church that we are that we as parents and role models can give our children the right tools to know God.

Santa Clause

Yes, there is a Santa Clause! I believed in him when I was a little girl, I even thought I saw him once. Then as I grew older I believed he was a created to teach children to believe in something that they could not see something that would teach them good-will to others and to give and not expect to receive. I thought he was a figment of someone’s imagination that had been passed down from one person to the next. It took becoming a mother to realize that indeed Santa Clause does exist.

Mr. and Mrs. Clause. They live not in the North Pole, but in our towns and communities. They walk around among us, work beside us, worship with us. They have hearts bigger then they themselves are. They love like no other and giving gives them more pleasure than anything else. I found a Santa Clause and the kindness that he bestowed upon my family reminded me what Christmas was all about.

I started forgetting my Christmas spirit about five years ago. I decorated the house and the yard, bought my Christmas presents, but the light wasn’t as bright that year. Then as the years have gone on the light in me slowly fizzled. I stopped decorating for Christmas all together. The first time we were living in Alabama and my Christmas stuff was all packed up, the next year I used the same excuse. But, that was Andrew’s first Christmas and I was upset because he wasn’t spending his first Christmas with my family. Shane’s parents can mess up the Holidays because of stupid stuff. It ended up being an ok Christmas, but my spirit wasn’t there. The next Christmas we were able to spend Christmas with my family, but Shane didn’t have a job and we were almost broke. We couldn’t spend the money we wanted to on Christmas, but with the help of my mom Santa still came. The light in Andrew’s face Christmas morning was priceless. I can still see the shock and smile on his face when he saw his Fire truck sitting in the living room. He didn’t even want to open the other presents, he just wanted to play in his truck. Every now and then he would get out seeing what I was unwrapping for him and then jump right back in the truck.

After I met Santa Clause last weekend, I forced myself to get into the Christmas spirit. It isn’t about me, it’s about the kids. It’s about wanting Andrew and Clay to grow up and remember how wonderful the holiday season is. The Christmas lights on houses, cookies, hot chocolate, picking out the perfect tree, and the smell of a fresh Christmas tree in the house. The light on their faces when they open their Christmas presents. For them I can find the Christmas spirit. I’ve decorated the inside of the house. Now we have to get a tree so that we can decorate it! We are spending Christmas in Texas this year, with Shane’s parents. So far they are in the Christmas spirit themselves; I can only pray it stays that way. I’m missing my family but I hope to see them soon.

If the Christmas spirit is fading in your life, remember it isn’t about you, it’s about those you love and who love you. If you give them the gift of the Christmas spirit it is sure to find its way back into your life.

How smart is that!

I'm amazed constantly at how smart children are! How they pick up on the smallest things. Andrew is very perceptive, he watches and learns, he copies and at times he even comes up with things on his own. Just a little while ago he was playing with his Little People Farm. While he was "feeding" a basket of eggs to some of the animals I hear "broke it". I asked what he broke and he showed me the eggs. So I laughed and said that he needed to cook them now. He jumped up from his place on the floor and ran to the kitchen. I followed him, he was digging in one of the kitchen drawers for things to "cook" with. So I handed him a small frying pan and a spatula and went back to what I was doing. After a few minutes I heard the oven door open and close, and then it slammed a second time. He came running back to the living room with his frying pan. What was he up to. Andrew picked up the eggs and pretended to put them in the pan again and then ran back to the kitchen. This time I followed him. He took the frying pan and put it into the oven, "get back" he told me. I always tell him to stay back when I am opening the oven door so he won't get burned. Then he started digging in my towel drawer, "Now what are you looking for?" "Hot, burn" he tells me and he pulls out an oven mitt from the drawer. He opens the oven door and using the mitt pulls the frying pan out of the oven. He is cooking and he is happy! Such an active imagination!
A few weeks ago I had our big shop vacuum in the living room, I had been cleaning the ceiling fan and the ceiling earlier in the day. Shane and I watched him trying to stack pieces of vacuum hose on top of each other. He couldn't reach the very top of what he was stacking so he drug the vacuum over to the couch, he then climbed up on the couch and placed the last piece that he couldn't reach from the floor.
We took the kids to Crater of Diamonds in Arkansas early this summer. At the end of the day we took our findings to an area that has a lot of diamond facts and exhibits, this is also where they tell you what you have found. In this area they have a wheel with a diamond edge cutting through a piece of granite in cased in a plexi-glass box. The wheel turns by someone turning a crank. Andrew watched Clay play with the wheel and crank for a little while. When Clay got bored and moved on Andrew tried to turn the crank, but he couldn't reach. The two employees for that area watched my son push his toy truck out of the way, drag a near-by chair over to the exhibit, climb on the chair and turn the crank. They were just as surprised as we were that he would think to do something like that.
It just goes to show how smart children are when given the chance to express themselves, no matter the age. It also shows that they are paying attention and absorbing everything that goes on around them.

Diets

Why does it seem like you don't crave something until you start dieting, then that one thing is all you can think about? Good grief! Started yesterday, and other than trying to chew on myself to keep from eating everything I could find I think I did pretty good. Today seemed worse then yesterday! I felt like I was about to starve to death! And yes I fussed at the one person that I let talk me into this diet, because she is my diet buddy...the person who is supporting me as I am her...boy I hope her ears were ringing, lol. I was doing good...until... I went to my mother-in-law's house, hadn't eaten in awhile, had to go to the doctor with Shane and then to Sam's and didn't know when I was going to get to eat...And since her husband is out of town and has been out of town she seems to have very little food in her house...I ate the only thing that was there. Stuffed crust peperoni and mushroom pizza. I didn't eat the stuff crust part because I never do, I don't like that part, but I ate TWO slices...I had lost one pound, yes only one, between yesterday and this morning...well I'm sure when I get up it will be back. UGGG! 55 pounds to go, my birthday is the goal! I can do this! We can do this! Diets suck!

An amazing God

Shane was fired from work a few weeks ago. He has been working night shift, seven days a week and he was exhausted. After lunch they weren’t’ busy and he found a quiet place to take a nap. The wrong person found him and they fired him as an example to the others. Shane and I decided that we wanted to buy a feed store that has recently come up for sale. I spent a day there visiting with the owners and getting an understanding of how the store was run. Then Shane and I had a lengthy discussion on the reasons that we wanted to buy the store and that he should talk to his dad about helping us get it. Something told me to push the issue, so I did. She went to his dad, but Sonny turned us down. Later he told Shane’s mom that if we found land that we wanted he would help us buy that instead. Sonny left for New York on Wednesday. Shane and I found a place that we really liked and went to see it Friday morning. Sonny wanted to fly back on Friday, but was unable to move his flight up so Shane’s mom went with us to see the place we found. Afterwards we parted ways, she went to Wal-mart and we went to get something to eat. Shane got a phone call when we were leaving the restaurant, his mom’s blood pressure had spiked really bad while she was in the store and she had indigestion that she couldn’t get rid of. She wanted to let us know that she didn’t feel well and that she was going home to take some meds and lay down. I had a friend a few years ago that had a heart attack. She told me then that she had persistent indigestion before the attack. When I heard the conversation they were having I called my mom, who is a nurse, and told her what was going on. She said that Shane’s mom needed to go to the ER immediately. She did go after much persuasion, and it turned out she was having a heart attack. After all the tests were done, she had three blockages, two 30% and a 70% blockage. They put stints in.

We realized that the events that led to Friday were created by God for a reason. Had Sonny not left for New York they would have passed off the indigestion and the rise of blood pressure, she would have taken her meds and laid down. Or, if Sonny had been able to come home early she would not have left the house that morning and the same path would have been taken. If Shane had not been fired he would have been sleeping and we would not have gone out to see the property and asked her to go with us. It basically comes down to God has a path for all of us and though we may not know what those paths are or why we are taking them, they are there for a reason. We have to be patient and remember that God will reveal himself in due time. Everything happens for a reason! GOD is amazing!

Where does the trash go?

I noticed that we were taking the trash out a lot, almost every day. So I decided that our house hold was going to help out the environmnet a little. I started seperating our trash cardboard, plastic bottles and newspaper. I started looking for a place to take our recyclables. Can you believe I can't find one? Maybe I'm not asking the right person, maybe I'm not looking in the right places? But I can not find a dump station or a place where you can take your trash, much less the stuff you recycle. Even Moncks Corner has these kinds of things. Is Texas that behind in times? They are so proud of everything else around here you would think they would be on the upswing of things. How can there be no recycle stations around here? Is it all of Texas or just in the area I'm in? So in the meantime I have carboard piling up on top of my freezer and bags of plastic bottles hanging from my cabinets. What the heck do I do with this stuff?

The littlest potty

We decided to get Andrew a potty chair. He is showing some of the "tail-tell signs" of potty training, so we thought we would introduce him to it and see how things went. It is a really cute potty, blue and green with frogs and turtles on it. The first day we brought it home he played with it, sat on it and carried it around. The only time I get him to sit on it is at bath time, it is the only time I am absolutely sure that he is going to pee. He sits, and sits and nothing happens but him playing. As soon as I put him in the tub he pees. I grab him up and put him on the potty and tell him "we tee tee in the potty not the tub", but he does not pee. So I put him back in the tub and he pees again! Two nights in a row this is how it goes. So tonight after fighting the tub battle I decided that maybe we should put potty and all in the tub. It worked! I sat Andrew and his potty in the tub, when his feet hit the warm water he peed! I was so excited, I kept telling him he was a good boy and making a fuss over him, Shane came in the bathroom and made a fuss. Andrew just looked at us like we were nuts and went back to playing. Oh well...

All by myself

So yesterday was the first time since January 24th, yes I know the last date, that I have been by myself for any length of time. And when I say length of time I don't mean quite time will Andrew has gone to bed or down for nap. I mean by myself, no screaming toddler in the back seat, no body in the opposite seat annoying me. I went to pick up Jake from the groomers and drop him off at the house, I left Shane and Andrew at Shane's Mom's house. Half way back to from dropping the dog off and picking some things up for Shane did I realized that I was by myself, I had so much on my mind that it didn't even feel like I was alone. Two hours and I didn't even get to enjoy it. I turned off the main highway and onto a back road and took my foot of the gas. I was going to enjoy a few minutes of quietness. Was this what life had turned into? Being so busy that I don't even know I am by myself? Is there so much on my mind, with the rushing around trying to get things done...Once I finished these little thoughts I sped back up, I didn't want to over step my bounds of leaving Andrew at his Nanny's even though Shane was there and it was getting late. Shane needed the stuff I had picked up at the house... so off I went again...

Facing Fears

We are all afraid of something. Me, I'm afraid of the dark, yes at 30 years old I am still afraid of the dark. I can not go into a dark room or house. I turn lights on as I go from room to room and then turn them off as I make my way back. I'm not afraid of being outside in the dark, just inside. I am afraid of snakes, can't even get close in the pet shop. I see them before anyone else does when we are outside. And, I am afraid of heights. I know that it is all in your head, but sometimes the voices in my head win; mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter...well I mind. Shane, who is NOT afraid of heights, loves to rock climb. When I first got pregnant, I didn't know I was pregnant, we went to Horseshoe Cannon, in Arkansas to climb with some friends. No pressure, he said if I didn't want to climb I didn't have to. But, I thought how bad can it be... If you ever want to measure the trust you have in your significant other, put them at the bottom of a rope, while you climb up the side of a rock. Your life is literally in their hands. Now this would not be so bad if one, you aren't afraid of heights and two, you didn't out weigh the other person by 25-30 pounds. I kept imagining falling and passing Shane on the way up as I was going down. I didn't understand the fundamentals of climbing the first go around. As I went up my body began to shake and panic began to set in. So he was going to lower me, I thought someone was going to have to come up and get me. My first climb ended in tears and him hugging me and telling me it was OK. I did one more climb the next day, but he didn't belay me. I belayed a friend and after watching her swinging around on the rope and showing me that even if you fall, you didn't really fall. I had a little more confidence and I was able to climb a new problem and make it higher then the day before. Well that was a little over two years ago. Today we decided to go rock climbing with the kids. Clay climbed first. He did well, he had a few issues, but all in all he made it to the top. Andrew puttered around on the ground while all of this was going on. Once Clay came down, I got ready to start my way up. I know Clay made a comment about falling, but I wasn't listening to him as Shane tied my rope. I could feel the panic creeping into my chest. Shane told me not to listen to Clay, and I said I wasn't because I could feel the panic coming. I did OK for me. Shane talked me through were to put my hands and feet and I tried to listen. Every now and then I would just stop and shake my head no but, I would continue on a few minutes later. When I got to a shelf midway I knew I couldn't go any further. I had nothing to grab onto and not enough strength in my arms to push myself up. My legs were starting to shake and my arms ached. Clay was watching and was sweet enough to tell me he could see my legs shaking. I couldn't take it any more and had to come down... ha ha! Come down! I froze. I know I kept shaking my head no while Shane was telling me what to do. Put your feet straight out in front of you...I had to fight to get my legs to do what I wanted with a death grip on the rope and my legs out front Shane lowered me down. When I was a few feet from the bottom I sat down on a ledge and just stared at him. We both laughed, but we both knew what I was feeling. I will again climb, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. I know the climbing is good for building trust within our relationship and it gives us something to do together. I also know that it is good for me to face my fear of heights; I have to push past what is going on inside my head, which is very hard to do sometimes, but only by doing that will I accomplish anything. I am proud of myself, I didn't cry today...but my arms feel like putty!

Just some random thoughts

I haven't been on here in awhile. I had some random thoughts running through my head. And now that I have sat down to write them down the went out the window... go figure. Oh well, I started two new classes today. For some reason I don't feel equipped or adequate for these. Up to par, maybe is what I'm looking for. Don't feel like I'm giving myself enough time to really concentrate either. But, there is no excuse. None, I have a toddler to chase after and some things to do here and there, but yet I feel like I don't give anything my all anymore...
Started really trying to get back into my photography. I love it and I miss it. Shane and Andrew are my best subjects, besides nature. I always feel myself behind the camera, but then I always judge my work to hard. Would love to put it up somewhere for all to see, good and bad. I'll have to look into starting a website or something maybe.
Thinking about writing a children's book. I have been keeping track of my life experiences and writing them down. I would like to publish them one day too. Erma Bombeck was always a favorite writer of mine, I would like to put some humorous books similar to hers. I guess that's what this blogging is also like...
My little one just turned 18 months Sunday. He is amazing and beautiful. I can't get over how grown he is, how much he is learning. He has a pretty extensive vocabulary now, he can tell you what different animals sound like and he loves to be read to. He loves being outside playing and he mimics what you say and what you do. Especially his daddy. Such a daddy's boy.
Chatted online with an old friend earlier. I miss her and am afraid of her all at the same time. Will have to elaborate on that another time, maybe. I think it's the fact that it stirs up lost memories, ones that for me are easier to put on a shelf than they are for her. Glad to see she is doing well though. She is a beautiful person inside and out.
Ok, so things to work on... waking up and getting things done, lol...making TIME to do things and then doing them!

mornings

I've decided that mornings are for old people. They are happy to wake up every morning and know that they are alive. Not me, I don't want to wake up, I want to sleep. I am not happy to see the sun come up, I like to see it go down. Sunsets are pretty, but they say "wake up! Ready or not, the new day is here. So get up and out of bed!". Sunsets are so much sweeter... they say "well we made it through that one. Tomorrow is a new slate we can try again." That means there is time to sleep. I don't go to bed with the chickens and rise with the roosters, I want to sleep as late as I possibly can! OH how I miss the days of no children waking up at 8 am, 7 am, 6:30 am! Why doesn't he take after Mommy and sleep late! We could even cuddle together, but no...alas we do not sleep late anymore!

New Years Resolutions

I've never been one for making resolutions. I can't hardly remember to take my vitamins every day; how can I expect myself to remember something so complex? What exactly are resolutions, things we want to change about ourselves or accomplish for the new year? If that is the case I must make these things all year long. How many people actually make a New Year Resolution list and have stuck to it? I would like to know. But, alas I shall fallow the crowd...

I learned about goal setting in my recent class, that should be similar to resolutions right? It's a goal and you have steps to take to be able to complete them...ha ha.
~Becoming more organized, putting my things away instead of laying them around. Taking the extra couple of seconds to finish a task instead of leaving to complete later... maybe this should be under procrastination. I'm very good at that, why change something you are good at?
~Losing weight, isn't that on every one's list? The only difference is I don't care how much weight it is,as long as something gets lost... now how do we do it?
~Don't be afraid of myself, I can become very withdrawn sometimes, I have to remember I am not a turtle I don't have to hide in my shell.
~Smile more.

I guess as the year goes on I shall add to my list...